Now from the Makers of Insanitea, the Crazy Fresh Brewed Tea, another innovation in the War on Boredom...

::Loud music begins to play as the lights come up on an empty theater venue. Center stage is a microphone on a stand. To the right, a small black stool with a bottle of water and some pictures. As the music begins to fade we meet our host for the duration, Mr. E. Dressed in all black with the exception to white socks, he makes his way to the microphone. The music concludes as Mr. E. removes the mic from the stand::

First of all thank you so much for all of your time. I would not be here if it weren't for you. For that, I am eternally greatful.

Ok, let's get down to business. Any of you ever try out for a play, musical, or a show in general? You hear that someone if going to be putting on something you're interested in, and you try out. That's the way it's always been. I had the unique pleasure of doing something quite the opposite of that, just last evening. BCP will be presenting Godspell. I did research on it, looked at it, and even listened to some excerpts from it. Over all, not really impressed. Everyone during the last show was consumed by the fact we could all work together again.

Again? Didn't we just finish something? Some of you I'd like some time away from, others, not so much. So, I thought I would just go and help at the auditions. I did. I was there and I told people that I was not going to try out. I helped those without the gift of grace make it look as if they could dance. That was my main concern. Nothing worse than a show with a cast of people that cannot dance.

:: Mr. E grabs the water from the black stool, unscrews the cap, and takes a small sip. Moments later, he spits the water out stage left.::

Egh...sugar.

So everyone goes in, sings, dances, and then they were ready to yell out the call back numbers. I punked out. I signed up. Took my own picture, did the dance, turned in the audition sheet. Had no song, but Devin was there, so I borrowed her book and sang "Seven Fat Cows". Only I did it an octave higher. It was crazy. Somehow I pulled it off, even doing it half-heartedly. I got called back. Here's the kicker!

I'm not going to call backs!

I know that I will make it if I go back, but what's the point? Dressing up like a clown to tell parables from the Bible, that's just not something I'm tickled to do. When I make it in Seussical how am I going to hold down both shows, songs and scripts, in addition to working and trying to make some money. It is just not happening. And what if I don't make Seussical? Work and softball. And quality time with Milks.

That woman last night, what a crazy psycho! Dyed red hair, with black roots exposed in pony tails? Hooting and hollering and screaming pornographic phrases to get the auditioners to respond, not really my cup of tea.

:: Mr. E puts the mic down, and reattaches it to the stand. The stage goes to blackout, as the music cue begins. End of Show::